Phisher attacks Historian: Ancient Curse
Today my twitter account has been attacked by phishers. Only yesterday have I received a direct email message from one of my followers, who wrote “Ha, ha. This you?”. A shortened url completed the sentence. I should have known instantly that a person who wrote such grammatically incorrect emails could not have been one of my followers. Despite my premonition, I clicked on the link at the bottom of the page, which said “If you want to read the full message, click here”. In my confused mind, I thought that the message would bring me to a longer email or post. Instead, the link brought me supposedly to the login page of twitter. Naively, I entered my username and my very strong password that only a German classicist of the Old School would have guessed (once I have given out one or two clues). As you may imagine, I entered my details in a fake twitter page. Today, I received several worried messages from my followers warning me about the scam. I changed my password and started apologising to everyone with direct messages, until twitter stopped sending my emails altogether. Apparently my alter ego and I have sent too many of them in one day.
What is there to be done apart from apologising profusely and making certain that I would never again click on anything absentmindedly? I thought long and hard about it and came to the conclusion that I need to devise an online curse tablet. Great numbers of such bronze tablets have been found across the Greco-roman world in temples, burial grounds, wells. Some of them included only the names of their targets. Others included elaborate curses. As I do not know the name of the perpetrator, I will just direct it against every phisher in the world. Then I will sit back and wait for the miraculous results that the underworld gods will bring.
ΔΑΙΜΟΝΕΣ ΚΑΙ ΠΝΕΥΜΑΤΑ ΕΞΟΡΚΙΖΩ ΥΜΑΣ
ΑΜΑΥΡΩΣΟΝ
PHISHERS
ΤΑ ΟΜΜΑΤΑ, ΚΑΤΑΔΗΣΑΤΕ ΑΥΤΩΝ.
ΧΑΡΟΝ
ΔΗΣ TON PHISHER
ΕΙΣ ΤΟΝ ΤΗΣ ΛΗΘΗΣ ΑΦΩΤΙΣΤΟΝ ΑΙΩΝΑ ΚΑΙ ΚΑΤΑΨΥΞΗΣ ΚΑΙ ΑΠΟΛΕΣΗΣ
Can you translate it?
What a fascinating idea. One with so many various applications.
I am sorry that happened. I have been burned before in the same way, so now I warn all family and friends (some of whom still have to get the message) to not send me things that require clicking.
Since my classic Greek is worse than my Coptic or Latin, I will not attempt a translation. I hope someone with more aptitude will provide an English version here, so I can add agreement to the deities and the universe.
(cursorie, punctuation overruled
)
Oh gods and spirits I summon you to blind and bind the eyes of the phisers. Charon, confine the phiser into the dark realm of Forgetfulness, and chill them dry, and annihilate them.
Panu ge.
Erroso.
George,
you are clearly an experienced classicist. This is obvious not only by your translation but also because of your kind greetings. Have we met before? In which country are you?
Constantina